Give your crappy rental kitchen a glow-up

On counter space, demented layouts, renter rights and IKEA. Also: Pie Award winners and a snack from the dairy.

Nau mai, haere mai. Welcome to The Boil Up, The Spinoff’s weekly food newsletter.

Bravely revealing my crappy kitchen, sink full of dishes and all.

I sometimes think about becoming a food influencer. I’m not entirely sure what this would look like, and I’m not sure whether I would actually enjoy it, but my musings usually end when I remember how crappy my kitchen is.

My main complaints are around the lack of natural light, lack of counter space and the cheapness of the stove (we refer to one of the burners as “the scary one”). My last flat had a tiny cupboard of a kitchen, but inside was a powerful oven that could produce the most gorgeous burnished crusts and four gas hobs that would burn merrily all at once, perfect for charring a glut of aubergines or warming all your tortillas ASAP. The lighting wasn’t great, but at least the window looked out onto a leafy public pathway, so you could watch people walking their dogs while you did the washing up. There was no bright side to the minuscule counter space, although it didn’t stop us from producing decadent, multi-element meals and hosting enormous potlucks where there were never enough serving utensils and we would have to scurry into the kitchen between mains and pudding to wash all the bowls and spoons.

A bad kitchen is a pretty common problem, especially for renters. Idly browsing property listings on Trade Me, I always scroll through the photographs to find the kitchen first, lest I fall in love with a place before discovering the cruel joke at its heart. More often than not, I am horrified by what I find within my price-point: strange, boxy rooms with L-shaped counters; galley kitchens with bench space at one end and the stove at the other; three bedroom houses with less counter space than a motel kitchenette.

An attempt to show the weirdness of my kitchen, which is also my laundry, which is also where the front door is situated.

Lack of counter space is a common theme in the kitchen-complaint universe, although in many parts of the world, built-in counters are not a given. In Italy and Germany, kitchens often come without anything, even a sink, as with many older houses or those in more rural areas across India, South East Asia and Eastern Europe. In these contexts, renters and homeowners are expected to install their own, or else use free-standing cabinets and tables – which I guess explains the chokehold IKEA has on the world, especially Europe and Asia.

Here in Aotearoa, many of us renters have crappy kitchens, but limited capacity to customise – most are reticent to even put up a picture hook for fear of being charged for damages or not getting their bond back. The official word is that tenants must get written consent to make minor changes – even “more than minor” changes to the property, and that landlords cannot decline these without good reason. However, such changes are happening on the tenant’s own dime, and landlords are within their rights to charge for any damage caused by removing the fixture later on.

With the government’s significant rollbacks in renter rights likely to come into effect in early 2025, advice from the Tenants Protection Association is for tenants to “be on their toes.” So, for cautious renters/aspiring food influencers (maybe), here are some tips from my crappy kitchen to yours (and some extra ones from friends, plus the internet):  

• Get a freestanding bench for extra counter space and storage. You could repurpose an old table dresser (it may need propping up to the right height), wait for our IKEA to open, go through one of the importers, explore other options or if you’re a bit handy, build your own – either using something like a steel shelving unit, or making from scratch, perhaps utilising a local woodworking space.

• Turn your stovetop into extra counter space with a big cutting board.

• If your stove/oven isn’t working, contact your landlord. This is part of the minimum requirements set out in the Housing Improvement Regulations 1947. However, your unique situation might mean this isn’t possible, in which case, invest in some appliances that are going to make this easier to manage, like an electric hotplate and a rice cooker (the Kmart ones are great).

• If storage is an issue, get creative with tension rods and hooks; get a magnetic knife rack (you can get adhesive ones); find systems that are freestanding or use suction cups; buy or make an over-stove shelf; turn your fridge door into a magnetic spice rack.

• Utilise awkward spaces for storage, perhaps with a purpose-made trolley, or a bookshelf, whatever fits and works.

• Harsh overhead lighting makes even the cutest kitchen look like the Saw bathroom. Change your lightbulbs to warm, lower wattage to create better ambience, or use lamps.

• Grow herbs or plants in your window, or on top of your fridge.

• Think about the little things that make your space frustrating and put time aside to solve them. For me, the tiny drain hole in our sink meant it was always getting clogged and it was really hard to find a strainer that would fit. Third time lucky, these ones changed the game.

• Remember to look in op shops and on Trade Me or Facebook Marketplace for these things – as people move, these singular solutions become unnecessary so they are often circulating in these places!

• And on that note, don’t lose your mind or spend too much; the point is to make your kitchen workable and pleasant enough that you’ll use it, and enjoy doing so. This is not a full kitchen reno, à la The Bear.  

The wait is over

It’s finally here! Visa Wellington On a Plate kicks off its month-long foodie festivities today. With nearly 300 culinary experiences on offer, there's plenty to sink your teeth into.

Burger Wellington starts on 5 August and is always a highlight of this festival. With nearly 200 different burgers to sample, it's New Zealand's largest celebration of everything between two buns.

Plan your August of eating in the capital here.

Weekly bites

The results are in for the second-most important election event in Aotearoa: The Bakels NZ Supreme Pie Awards. For the first time, a South Island baker has taken out the top spot, with Arlyn Thompson of North Canterbury’s Rangiora Bakery beating out more than 5000 pie entries with her slow cooked Sumatra style beef pie. Thompson also topped the mince and gravy category, while Tola Chhunleng of Freemans Bakery and Café in Glenfield, Auckland, was awarded the gold in the coveted Steak and Cheese section. As for me, I am ready to take a road trip to Tuakau to try Srieng Choeu’s Scallop with Creamy White Sauce at Fresh Bun Café.

With his latest restaurant CanTing set to open in Commercial Bay later this year, celebrity chef Nic Watt has come under fire for starting a new venture while his failed Inca Newmarket restaurant is in liquidation, with 22 ex-employees still owed thousands of dollars. Watt – who also owns Masu at SkyCity – opened Inca Newmarket in 2019, following True Food Yoga’s liquidation in 2018. In related news, Stuff recently reported that Chris Rupe – erstwhile owner of failed Ponsonby restaurant SPQR – incorporated a new company the very same day liquidators were appointed to SPQR.*

For the latest, sobering instalment in our What’s Eating Aotearoa project, Shanti Mathias unpacks why food insecurity in Aotearoa is only getting worse, despite the global trend showing improvement. And in case you missed them, here’s a round-up of the latest and greatest pieces from the What’s Eating Aotearoa project:

• How Wellington became a cornucopia of Malaysian food

• Can Sandringham’s South Asian flavour survive gentrification?

• From fish to flour to feta, snow feeds us all

• Between two breads: A tasting tour of Wellington’s best sandwiches

Snack Review

Kāpiti Vanilla Choc Sundae, $4 from your local dairy

I have been roasted many times for loving vanilla ice cream and ready salted chips, but it’s OK, the barbs bounce off me because I am so confident in my preferences. Sometimes the simplest flavours are the best, especially when done well, and especially because they provide a perfect base for other elements. Dips (for the chips, not the ice cream)! Pudding! Jelly! Banana! Sauce! Sprinkles! Etcetera! It is against this backdrop that I present my dairy treat of choice, the Kāpiti Vanilla Choc Sundae.

Of all the luxury ice cream offerings in the dairy freezer, only the Kāpiti Sundae comes in a cup, which I’ll admit is not very environmentally friendly (note the docked point from the final score), but I do enjoy digging in with a spoon, cracking through the thick shell of chocolate on top, curating perfect spoonfuls with a little bit of choccy, a little bit of ice cream and a swipe of sauce. The fudge sauce provides a lovely, silky element, a different dimension of chocolate alongside the actual chocolate topping and, my personal favourite part, the chocolate flakes distributed throughout, almost as if this is not a vanilla ice cream with chocolate toppings, but something more akin to stracciatella – my favourite of all gelato flavours. Maybe not so simple after all? 9/10

Mā te wā, 

Lucinda

*This has been amended from an earlier version of The Boil Up that said Inca Ponsonby opened “right off the back” of True Food and Yoga’s liquidation. Inca Ponsonby in fact opened in 2022.